I have a sensitive nose. Maybe it comes from being the daughter of an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor. Maybe it's because I had to drive a car in high school with the license plate "Dr. Nose." Or maybe it's from being pregnant four times, and eventually your nose becomes a lightning rod, if you will, for odors that are "off."
This week, I took a nap on an uneventful afternoon, and when I awoke, my nose told me that something wasn't quite right. I smelled a scent different than any other I had smelled before. It had a tang to it, almost a metallic hint. When it was really strong, it felt like I could taste it on the tip of my tongue. This was worrisome. I checked the outlets, lamps, anything electrical. I had Adam check the attic and vents to see if there might be trouble up there. I was able to narrow it down to one room - the front room. I was starting to become slightly paranoid that we were getting chemical metallic poisoning. Maybe it was that new oven element! Maybe I should get my Carbon Monoxide detector out and see if it had anything to say about the matter!
Having found nothing out of the ordinary, I began accosting every person who entered our home:
{Ding dong }
Hi! Stay right there and breathe deeply! Yes, I know you just wanted to drop off something, but I need your nose right now!
Okay, the porch smells normal, right? Now, come into my house. . . slowly. . . slowly now. . . okay: Breathe. Deeper! That's better. Keep breathing. . . Do you smell that?!?! Don't you think it's kind of metallic?? Can't you almost taste it on your tongue? Isn't it driving you crazy?? ME TOO!! Do you know where it is or where it's coming from? Help me! I'm going mad!
At which point they would turn and run.
After three (3) days of this, I consigned my fate to the reeking aroma, concluding that maybe after we started showing symptoms, it would be easier to diagnose. I could practically feel a rash coming on.
On Saturday, Adam and Eli were gone all day at the Fathers & Sons Campout, so I thought this would be a good time for Lizzie to finally open the package that had arrived for her from her Grandma Vickie. We hadn't had time to properly enjoy it, and since I knew what was inside it, I thought it would be more fun to open it when she could really get into it.
We sliced the skinny packaging open to reveal a GIANT LARGER-THAN-LIFE-SIZED Harry and Hermione pointing their wands directly at us! It also revealed a GIANT LARGER-THAN-LIFE-SLIGHTLY-METALLIC-ODOR that almost knocked me over! ah HAH! How had I not deduced this before?! It was that stinky paint they used to make the stand-up cardboard Potter and sidekick Hermione. You can't smell them in the movies, but they really do stink.
The smell was worse, now that it was fully unleashed, but the mystery was solved. And Harry and Hermione are going to de-fumigate in the garage for a while before they're allowed back into the good graces of our home.
This week, I took a nap on an uneventful afternoon, and when I awoke, my nose told me that something wasn't quite right. I smelled a scent different than any other I had smelled before. It had a tang to it, almost a metallic hint. When it was really strong, it felt like I could taste it on the tip of my tongue. This was worrisome. I checked the outlets, lamps, anything electrical. I had Adam check the attic and vents to see if there might be trouble up there. I was able to narrow it down to one room - the front room. I was starting to become slightly paranoid that we were getting chemical metallic poisoning. Maybe it was that new oven element! Maybe I should get my Carbon Monoxide detector out and see if it had anything to say about the matter!
Having found nothing out of the ordinary, I began accosting every person who entered our home:
{Ding dong }
Hi! Stay right there and breathe deeply! Yes, I know you just wanted to drop off something, but I need your nose right now!
Okay, the porch smells normal, right? Now, come into my house. . . slowly. . . slowly now. . . okay: Breathe. Deeper! That's better. Keep breathing. . . Do you smell that?!?! Don't you think it's kind of metallic?? Can't you almost taste it on your tongue? Isn't it driving you crazy?? ME TOO!! Do you know where it is or where it's coming from? Help me! I'm going mad!
At which point they would turn and run.
After three (3) days of this, I consigned my fate to the reeking aroma, concluding that maybe after we started showing symptoms, it would be easier to diagnose. I could practically feel a rash coming on.
On Saturday, Adam and Eli were gone all day at the Fathers & Sons Campout, so I thought this would be a good time for Lizzie to finally open the package that had arrived for her from her Grandma Vickie. We hadn't had time to properly enjoy it, and since I knew what was inside it, I thought it would be more fun to open it when she could really get into it.
We sliced the skinny packaging open to reveal a GIANT LARGER-THAN-LIFE-SIZED Harry and Hermione pointing their wands directly at us! It also revealed a GIANT LARGER-THAN-LIFE-SLIGHTLY-METALLIC-ODOR that almost knocked me over! ah HAH! How had I not deduced this before?! It was that stinky paint they used to make the stand-up cardboard Potter and sidekick Hermione. You can't smell them in the movies, but they really do stink.
The smell was worse, now that it was fully unleashed, but the mystery was solved. And Harry and Hermione are going to de-fumigate in the garage for a while before they're allowed back into the good graces of our home.
I want YOU to stop stinking up my living room!
2 comments:
That is hilarious! I just love your blog!!
HAAAA! I LOVE IT!
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