Announcing the Winners of the 2009 Christmas Card Contest!

Forget the Oscar Nominations - it's time to announce the STEWART CHRISTMAS CARD CONTEST WINNERS!!

Thank you to all of you who submitted entries in this year's Christmas Card Contest. I just love every December, putting up pictures, letters and cards from our friends from all over the country (and some outside!) that we have accumulated like so many souvenirs. But sadly, the time comes every year when we have to take the cards down, and February is definitely time to do it. To make it easier, we are holding the 2nd annual Christmas Card contest, to honor the time and efforts that went into sending cards this year.

Let's start out with the Timeliness Categories. First, the "Early Bird" award. I must say, I was impressed this year that no one sent anything before Dec. 1st. Well done. This year, the Early Bird Award goes to The Stokes Family (my cousin in Utah), whose card arrived on Dec. 1st. What timing! What a great start to the season!

And in conjunction with that, the Super Snail Mail Award goes to the Watson Family...and don't think I'm dissing you cuz I'm not. I'm just glad people send greetings through the whole season!



Next: Location Categories!

Traveled the Farthest Distance: All the way from London, England, the winners are the Ashton Family! How fun is it to get mail from across the ocean! Matt also sent us a package from Japan, but I had to disqualify him because there was no "Christmas Card." Harsh realities, bro.

Award for Shortest Distance (aka - it might have been easier to Throw the card from their house to ours): The Tait Family. And what a beautiful card it is!

Now, for actual Presentation (The Looks):

BEST SMILES Award:

This card made ME smile every time I walked past it! Just look at their kids! This family is joyous, and their childrens' smiles imbue happiness. Now that's the Christmas Spirit!


Best homemade Card:


I don't think you can tell from the picture, but there are tiny details like glitter and pom-poms and a real button too. Impressive, Robyn!

Now, I know this is a controversial category, but I just gotta. Most Beautiful Family. There were several (you know who you are, you gorgeous people, you!) But this year, the winners are...The Morleys. They should have pageants for families like them!

And for those that send pics of just their kids: Most Beautiful Kids Award. So difficult! But I have to pick the Telfords. All four kids! Just stunning! Especially that oldest boy - golden!

We're getting close to the best award of all: Best Christmas Letter. But you're going to have to wait a little longer...

First, in our Literary Categories:

Best Christmas Rhymes: Kippes Family. When you can tell everything your family did in a year, fit it on one page, AND make it rhyme, you've got talent. Especially when you can rhyme "Havasu" with "swine flu" - you deserve an award. Or at least a shout out!
Now, I shall introduce a new category: The Worst Christmas letter EVER.

This letter was SO bad, it deserves recognition. Or a raspberry.
For the sake of anonymity, I will not include a picture, or any other condemning information.

All I can say is that using the words "death," "mayhem," suicide, "murders," "murderer," "arrogant," and "intolerant" in a morbid manner about people you don't even know and include it in your Christmas letter that is less than 150 words long doesn't tend to bring the Christmas spirit!! YIKES!!

Whew! I'm glad we got that one out of the way. Okay, now, here's the moment we've all been waiting for: The Best Christmas Letter. This year's winner was a winner before we even finished getting all our Christmas letters. Heck, I might have crowned it "winner" before I even finished reading it! You know you've got something special when you read a letter out loud over and over several times, sometimes to people who don't even know this family - it was that good! Congratulations to...Adam's cousins John and Elizabeth!

Their letter was "annotated" which means that there were smarmy asides and sarcastic footnotes throughout the already hilarious family newsletter. Some highlights:

"The Parmleys had a typical year where they effortlessly excelled at everything, yet remained humble and approachable." "...they travelled to the BYU Indoctrination Center known as Aspen Grove. We don't remember everything that happened there, but when we hear the Cougar Fight Song, our eyes start to twitch involuntarily."

Other gems: "His talents continue to blossom, most notably the little appreciated talent of never admitting responsibility for any mistakes he makes, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary."

And: "Unfortunately this year, Elizabeth went through a very difficult time. She had to cope with feelings of loss, loneliness, depression and anger. You guessed it, she lost her cell phone. [Footnote #12: Not coincidentally, Verizon stock plummeted during those 5 awful days.]"

And Adam's favorite: "The High Adventure led to John's greatest idea ever -- the LOW ADVENTURE. Camping on the beach (sleeping in a trailer), a bonfire, jet skis and breakfast burritos from a nearby taqueria. Genius? [footnote#9: Yes.]"

Whew! That was a good year of Christmas letters. Thank you for all of you who participated, and remember, the contest will start again on Dec. 1st, 2010!