...Traffic School!
I know, I know, you want to hear about the kids' cute Halloween costumes, but it's Traffic School that's on my mind...
Yep, the reason I'm blogging today is to share with you my new knowledge of traffic laws and how to violate them. For example, did you know that it's illegal to honk for any other reason than to avoid a collision? I didn't, but I do now, thanks to Joe, the Master Traffic School Teacher. And did you know that in Arizona, it is perfectly legal to change lanes in an intersection??? What the? I'm going to start doing it, just because I can.
Master Joe was entertaining and lively, and provided much live footage of Arizonans breaking traffic laws right and left. We saw an (empty) car get hit by a train, a view from the Light Rail system of cars turning right onto their tracks, and red light runners that make your hair stand on end.
All this reminded me of my last time in traffic school, back in 1997. I was living in Provo, Utah, and I was about to meet Adam, but hadn't yet. We spent several hours in a musty UVSC classroom subjected to a movie titled "LEMON LAKE" - cataloging the series of poor decisions a group of kids made while taking a road trip to "LEMON LAKE." It impressed me, but probably not in the way they wanted. It left me yearning to fill a void of quality film making in my life - please let me watch a B-grade movie! Or something that got raspberries on Rotten Tomatoes!
Apparently, I must have been more impressive than "LEMON LAKE" to one traffic school colleague of mine. With his shaggy half-bleached hair and a hackey sack at the ready, he unabashedly told me during one of the many lulls of "LEMON LAKE" that he was illegally parked. Imagine my surprise when the next day, when the fog of the traffic school spell had worn off, when my roommates left me a message that "Dirk" had called for me.
I warded off any potential advances this time, (12 years later, but you do get some desperate guys in traffic school), with my Skeleton Maternity Shirt.
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1 comment:
When I went to traffic school about two years ago, I also learned some interesting things. Without a doubt, the most fascinating thing was learning how the red light cameras work and how you can tell which direction they take pictures of people. I also learned that those buggers are speed cameras too. Nice. 1984 anyone? :-)
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