The Bumpy Spoon

I have many wonderful pictures to share with you from our Yellowstone vacation... but first, a word about bumpy spoons.

The other morning, as I was getting ready for the day and the kids were eating breakfast, I heard an all-out, knock-down-drag-out fight escalating, and I wondered what it could possibly be about. Which child was loved more? Who had more privileges? Future inheritances? No. None of the above. They were fighting about The Bumpy Spoon.

We have one spoon in our ensemble of spoons that is different. It's technically a jelly spoon. For no reason other than that it is different and there is only one of them, it has been singled out as the most desirable spoon to have in our household. And Lizzie and Eli were fighting To The Death (or was it To The Pain? - even worse!) over who would be using it to shovel Cheerios into their mouths.

I promptly wrestled The Spoon out of their grimy mitts amidst wailing and gnashing of teeth, and felt just like the dad on "A Christmas Story" when I waved it in front of them and said, "It's... a... SPOON!!!!!" Then I went and hid it in my bedroom.

The wailing continued, so I came back into the kitchen and declared:

"Eli, you're sixth birthday is next week. I've decided that instead of a skateboard which you have been asking for since December, we will get you your Very Own Bumpy Spoon."

He looked at me with puffy red eyes and smiled. "Yay," he weakly muttered. Then, as I continued praising the merits and benefits of having one's Very Own Bumpy Spoon in this life, he interrupted.

"Well, could I have a skateboard and A Bumpy Spoon?"

"No," I said. "You have shown me just how badly you want a Bumpy Spoon and I think having your very own would make you happiest in this world. We can't get you both gifts (you know, Bumpy Spoons being as expensive as they are), and I can see that you clearly want a Bumpy Spoon over a skateboard, so that's what we're going to do."

The light was slowly but surely dawning on the child, and he started renegotiating, starting to finally come to his senses. It took a lot of persuading, but Eli finally convinced me that he would actually prefer a skateboard as a birthday present instead of a spoon. Even more than a Bumpy Spoon to call his own.

It was a close call, but sanity finally prevailed for another day in the Stewart Household.