Scarier than a Haunted House...it's...

...Traffic School!

I know, I know, you want to hear about the kids' cute Halloween costumes, but it's Traffic School that's on my mind...

Yep, the reason I'm blogging today is to share with you my new knowledge of traffic laws and how to violate them. For example, did you know that it's illegal to honk for any other reason than to avoid a collision? I didn't, but I do now, thanks to Joe, the Master Traffic School Teacher. And did you know that in Arizona, it is perfectly legal to change lanes in an intersection??? What the? I'm going to start doing it, just because I can.

Master Joe was entertaining and lively, and provided much live footage of Arizonans breaking traffic laws right and left. We saw an (empty) car get hit by a train, a view from the Light Rail system of cars turning right onto their tracks, and red light runners that make your hair stand on end.

All this reminded me of my last time in traffic school, back in 1997. I was living in Provo, Utah, and I was about to meet Adam, but hadn't yet. We spent several hours in a musty UVSC classroom subjected to a movie titled "LEMON LAKE" - cataloging the series of poor decisions a group of kids made while taking a road trip to "LEMON LAKE." It impressed me, but probably not in the way they wanted. It left me yearning to fill a void of quality film making in my life - please let me watch a B-grade movie! Or something that got raspberries on Rotten Tomatoes!

Apparently, I must have been more impressive than "LEMON LAKE" to one traffic school colleague of mine. With his shaggy half-bleached hair and a hackey sack at the ready, he unabashedly told me during one of the many lulls of "LEMON LAKE" that he was illegally parked. Imagine my surprise when the next day, when the fog of the traffic school spell had worn off, when my roommates left me a message that "Dirk" had called for me.

I warded off any potential advances this time, (12 years later, but you do get some desperate guys in traffic school), with my Skeleton Maternity Shirt.

You asked for it!

Six months along!

Five Little Piggies

This little piggy caught swine flu.





These little piggies have none!

Then this little piggie caught the fever...




We all say H1N1's no fun!

But THIS little piggy, (while he stayed home from school), cried, "Yipeee--eee--eee--eeeeee!" (WITH his fever)...

All the day long.

Thanks for the new shirt Vickie!

Order one at www.gladditudes.com!

We made it!

For the last two/three months, the family goal has been "Get through September." Since it's now October 4th, I think it's safe to say we have met our goal.

I know, we're not ambitious, but we like attainable goals.

We threw a family reunion called "Millions of Morleys" in July, we got the children's choir up and running for a new season, I directed the choir for Stake Conference, threw the elementary school's annual Ice Cream Social for 700 people, and sang a concert at the Assembly Hall. And lived to tell about it.

Since October 1st, I've been wondering what this feeling was that I was feeling, and I believe that it's relief!

Do you know what this means? It means that now there is time for things like cooking artichokes! We got two of them in our Bountiful Basket yesterday, and I'm boiling them right now and I can't wait to show the kids how to peel the leaves off, dip them in butter and then draw them between their teeth to scrape all the goodness off.

Adam is working on "Today" - the Millions of Morleys music video from our reunion this summer. I know he is working on it because tears of laughter are streaming down his face. That's a sure sign.

Lizzie asked me today if we are going anywhere, and I gleefully answered her - "No!" We're staying home and watching General Conference from the blessed comfort of our homes, and we're going to have boiled artichokes and work on Family Videos. Maybe go for a walk in the newly cooler weather. Sounds heavenly.